


the problems not with you its without you

by prettybird86



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-17
Updated: 2015-06-17
Packaged: 2018-03-31 14:09:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3980980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prettybird86/pseuds/prettybird86
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke leaves Camp Jaha at the end of season 2 with an unexpected companion.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Raven suffered a head injury during the blast in 2x15 that puts her into a coma shortly thereafter.

Raven remembers fighting. From the moment they found her and Wick, she fought. As they put her on the table, she fought. With every last ounce of energy she could muster up, she fought. Then nothing, until she woke up next to a somber Clarke sitting on a river bank. She knew straight away something was wrong when she felt nothing. Not the pain that should be present in her legs. Not the wind that she could see blowing Clarke's hair. Not the grass she was laying on.

“Clarke.” Raven called out to her and got no response. She moved closer and attempted to grab Clarke's shoulder, instead her hand went through her, as if she were a ghost.

“What the hell?” She tried again getting the same result.

“Clarke, goddammit, talk to me! What the hell is going on!” she screamed at Clarke who sat there stone faced staring off into space.

Raven settled down beside Clarke after an hour of screaming and doing everything she could think of to get the blondes attention. She couldn't recall anything that happened between being put on the table and waking up next to Clarke. _'I must be dead.'_ she thought.It was the only thing that made sense to her. ' _But why am I still here.'_ Clarke finally stood and Raven followed suit. When she realized Clarke was headed away from Camp Jaha she tried to separate only to discover that whenever she got more than five feet away from the blonde she would dematerialize and materialize back at Clarke's side.

////

 

A little over a week had passed since Raven woke up without the ability to communicate with anyone or touch anything. In an attempt to feel less lonely Raven began talking to Clarke about anything and everything. She realized not too long after that getting no response only made her feel lonelier.

Clarke only ever spoke in her sleep, more like screamed. The first few hours were always the worst. Every night it was the same, Clarke cried herself to sleep and soon after the screaming would start. Clarke calling out for her mom hurt Raven the most. She had seen their relationship and while they had their troubles Raven could always see how much Abby loved Clarke and vice versa. She never had that. Raven learned at an early age that calling out for a mother that was never around was pointless. All she wanted when she was scared and alone, which was often, was for someone to hold her and tell her everything would be okay. In that moment, as she lie beside Clarke forced to watch her relive whatever horrible thing that had happened at Mount Weather, she wanted nothing more than to be that person for Clarke. The only thing that got Raven through the hours Clarke's crying and screaming was the thought of what comes next, Raven favorite time of night. When Clarke would settle down and her breathing regulated. Raven alternated between watching Clarke because it was the only time Clarke didn't look like she was carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders and shutting her eyes to just listen to her breathing.

She was doing the latter when she heard her name leave the blondes lips. Her eyes snapped open, hoping that Clarke had woken up and seen her but it was just Clarke talking in her sleep again.

“Raven, I'm sorry. I should've gotten to you sooner. I'm sorry.”

Any doubt Raven had left dissapeared, she had died in the explosion and Clarke blames herself. Raven took a deep breath to try and keep herself from crying.

“Please forgive me, Raven.”

Raven gave her a sympathetic smile and hovered her hand above Clarke's cheek.

“There's nothing to forgive, Clarke.”

/////

 

The pair traveled leisurely, never staying in one place more than a few days. So far their journey had surprisingly been without incident. Clarke was always careful to stay out of the path of any animals or whatever else lived in the forests. Raven noticed Clarke's hand grip the hilt of the knife on her hip. Something was wrong. Clarke must've heard or seen something she didn't. The one upside to this arrangement was she could move around without anyone seeing her. The downside, she couldn't tell Clarke about the two men hiding in the bushes surrounding her. Clarke stopped and turned toward the rustling leaves giving one of the men an opening. He leaped out of the bushes from behind Clarke, before he could get too close Clarke already had her knife out and was turning to meet to man, slicing into his arm, deep enough for him to drop his blade and giving her just enough time to shove her knife into his throat twice for good measure. The other one rushed out. She was so preoccupied fighting the the second man off that she didn't notice a woman descending from the tree above her.

Raven knew any attempt to help would be futile, nonetheless she yelled out reflexively, “Clarke, above you!” The blonde looked up just in time to move out of harms way.

“You heard me?” Raven asked surprised.

The woman landed on her feet with her sword at the ready. She swung and Clarke dodged, going underneath it to shove her knife into the woman's gut. She pulled the knife out and as the woman fell to her knees Clarke drew her blade across the womans neck.

The last man charged Clarke.

“Clarke, behind you!” Before Raven even finished shouting the warning she was running at the man in an attempt to tackle him and flew right through him. Clarke turned already swinging, Before her strike could land he grabbed her wrist and twisted her arm behind her back forcing her to drop her knife. His arm around her neck was making it increasingly hard to breath.

“Raven- knife.” Clarke was struggling against the man, kicking him and swinging her free arm. Raven tried desperately to grab the knife and failing.

“Dammit! I still can't touch anything.”

“Raven.” Clarke was fading.

“Bite him, Clarke. Do something! I did not come back from the dead for you to just die.” Her words gave Clarke gave second wind and with all the strength she had left she sunk her teeth into the mans arm as deep as they would go. He released his grip on her staggering backwards giving her enough time to grab the womans sword off the ground and run it through his heart. She kicked him back and pulled the sword out letting his body drop to the ground followed by the sword that fell from her hand as she struggled to catch her breath.

“You're awake!” Clarke ran to Raven to hug her. Raven stepped back stopping Clarke in her tracks.

“Trust me. I'm doing you a favor, you'd just fall right through me.”

“What?” Raven ran her hand through Clarke's shoulder.

“See. Incorporeal, is the word I think. I can't believe you can see me.” Raven said with a big smile. “What do you mean awake?”

“When I left you were in a coma.”

“So I'm not dead.” Ravens voice and face filled with hope that quickly faded. “Or I died after you left and that's why I'm here.”

“Raven, I would really love to talk about all this but we have to move. There could be others.”

With a nod they were off again. Raven couldn't help but smile at the blonde that ran beside her relieved that she wasn't alone anymore.

////

 

They found a clearing just before twilight. Exhausted as Clarke was she couldn't go to sleep. So they lay head by head, feet pointing in opposite directions staring at the stars. They stayed like that talking well into the morning about their theories, about what happened at Mount Weather.

“It was a fucked up situation but it was them or us, Clarke. Simple as that.” Raven could see a tear roll down the side of Clarke's face. “You saved us, Clarke. You saved me.”

Clarke turned her head, coming face to face with Raven. “Did I though? For all we know, you're dead right now.”

“or in a coma.” Raven said with smirk.

“Let's hope for the latter.”

////

 

The next night the found themselves in the same position looking up at the night sky.

“At this pace we'll be back at Camp Jaha in a couple of weeks.”

“At this pace you're gonna die from exhaustion well before that. What's the rush? It's not like I'm going anywhere.” Raven's joke received a cold glare from the blonde.

“The sooner we get back the sooner we can find a way to fix whatever this is.”

“Well the sooner you get some rest. The sooner we can start moving again.”

“Raven -” Clarke paused, not sure if she wanted to actually talk about this. “I'm afraid to sleep.”

“I know. I've been watching you remember.” Raven laughed. “That's never not gonna sound creepy by the way.” Raven turned her head to Clarke. “Clarke, look at me.” Clarke wiped the tears from her cheek before turning to meet Raven's eyes. “I'm right here Clarke. I'm not dead. Bellamy, Octavia, Monty, your mom, we're all alive because of you.”

“And what about the three hundred innocent people I had to kill to make that happen. Every time I close my eyes I see them.”

“As you should, remorse makes you human. Remember the lives that were lost that day, mourn them, but don't add your name to the list, Clarke. They died so that we could live, don't let their deaths be in vain. There's always light in the darkness you just have to find it.”

Clarke thought back to everything that had happened since her dad was floated and she was imprisoned. She tried to find the light, landing safely, breathing in the air for the first time, feeling the sun on her skin, the wind in her hair. She remembered the good times she had with Finn, meeting Raven for the first time, reuniting with Abby. There was definitely light there but it wasn't enough to keep her from drowning in the darkness.

“About a week and a half ago you discovered that cave remember. It was filled with those little bugs whose bodies were all sorts of different colors that lit up the entire cave. Do you remember that?” Clarke nodded and even smiled slightly at the memory. “I remember thinking I've never been more glad to be incorporeal because that way I could enjoy their beauty and not have actual have them crawling on me.” That got a small laugh out of the blonde. It was the first time Raven had heard that laugh since, she couldn't even remember the last time she or Clarke laughed. “You stayed in that cave for nearly half the day.”

“It was beautiful. Kinda reminded me of being back on the ark looking out at the stars.”

“I don't think I've ever seen you that at peace. Well not while you're awake at least.”

Clarke laughed again. “You're right it's never not gonna be creepy.” Raven joined in on the laughter that faded quickly into silence as the gazed into each others eyes.

“When you close your eyes tonight, Clarke, think of the cave. Put everything that happened out of your mind and just think about the cave. Focus on the bright spots instead of the darkness that surrounds them.”

Clarke closed her eyes and did just that and for a few minutes it worked.

“Hey Raven.” She opened her eyes to find Raven smiling at her. “I'm glad you're here.”

“Me too.”

////

 

Raven lay on her side propped up on an elbow watching Clarke draw with a stick in the dirt.

“It looks like a giant deformed rat more than anything else.”

Clarke faked offense. “It's a Koala. I'm better with a pencil and paper.”

“I'll believe it when I see it.” Raven smirked.

“There isn't exactly an abundance of art supplies just lying around.”

“Well you're just going to have to prove that when we get back to camp.”

“Oh, so now I have to prove myself?” Clarke ran her hand through the dirt, messing up her drawing, gathering a hand full and tossing it at Raven. They both laughed as it went through the brunette.

////

 

Clarke wrung out the water from her hair before pulling off her jacket and throwing it down onto a rock.

“Stop being cranky, Clarke. The rain is beautiful.”

“I love the rain. What I don't love is losing a day because of it.”

“I remember the first time I felt rain- “ Raven closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. “and smelled it. I would give anything to smell right now.” She opened her eyes to find Clarke watching her, smiling at her. “What?”

“I remember it too. You were so happy you were spinning around like an idiot.”

“Well you were smiling at me like an idiot kinda like you are right now.”

Clarke couldn't deny it. She knew exactly what Raven meant because she was smiling at Raven like an idiot both times. The first time it was because Raven was filled with such wonder. Wonder Clarke never fully got to feel herself because she was tossed into the leadership role and was so caught up trying to keep everyone alive she never really got to take it all in and just enjoy it. This time though Clarke was just in awe at the brunette's unwavering positivity.

////

 

It was rare, the silence at this time of night. Usually Clarke would be in the midst of a nightmare, screaming out for help, but not tonight. This silence had only come twice before, The first time was a week ago, the second only two nights ago. Raven took it as a good sign that Clarke's nightmares were subsiding. She lay on her stomach perpendicular to Clarke and placed her hand on the ground close to Clarke's. She felt weird admiring the sleeping girls hands but she couldn't help it. Lately she was finding everything about Clarke, everything Clarke did or said, beautiful. It wasn't exactly new she had always admired the blondes beauty and personality but not like this. It had become somewhat distracting to the point where Clarke was having to repeat herself because Raven would be too focused on watching Clarke lips instead of listening to the words coming out. Her hands though were particularly fascinating to the brunette. They mirrored Clarke's personality, soft but rough, a little worn and beaten, both delicate and strong. Raven closed her eyes, and imagined how Clarke's hand would feel in hers.

////

 

Camp Jaha was no more than a couple of hours away when they settled in for the night. They could've made it all the way back before sundown but they both opted to find a place for the night. Neither would admit out loud that they just wanted one more night with just the two of them. They lay down the same way they had for the past two weeks, head by head, feet pointing in opposite directions.

“Do you ever wish we were back on the ark?” Clarke asked staring off into the night sky.

“I wouldn't trade this for anything.” Raven answered without hesitation.

“Me either.” Raven turned her head to find Clarke already looking at her smiling. She wanted nothing more than to reach out and kiss her but she couldn't and it was hell, the best kind of hell, but hell nonetheless. After Clarke had fallen asleep Raven began imagining what it would be like once they got back to camp. How she would react if she was really dead. How they would go about getting her out of the coma if that were the situation. If everyone else would be able to see her or just Clarke. And what about Clarke? What would their relationship be like once they return to camp? Being so close to the camp was forcing Raven to contemplate all the questions and concerns she had been shoving to the back of her mind for weeks. Everything she refused to let herself think about because she didn't want to have a complete meltdown was bubbling up. She was on the brink of crying until she looked over at Clarke.

She was so wrapped up in her own thoughts she nearly forgot that it was her favorite time of night. Clarke stopped crying herself to sleep. She learned to replace the images of the people she killed with happy images, the cave, her parents, Bellamy, Octavia, all of her people that still live because of her, and Raven. It pleased Raven to see that her suggestion helped Clarke get to sleep but it didn't stop the nightmares and the screaming. Raven was still forced to watch Clarke suffer every night, her only relief coming near morning when Clarke settled down and looked like nothing in the world could touch her. One look at Clarke like that was all it took to quell Raven's fears. She watched Clarke's steady breaths, breathing out when Clarke breathed in. Before Raven knew it, the sun was coming up and Clarke was awake.

 


	2. Chapter 2

They walked back slowly taking twice as long as they should've. Abby was the first to greet her daughter, taking her into her arms without a single word and holding on tight until Clarke complained about needing air. Clarke looked to Raven and back to her mother, they agreed to wait and see if anyone else could see Raven before they actually said anything. Abby not seeing Raven only solidified what Clarke had been thinking the entire time, that she was going insane.

Raven was smiling at the reunion but Clarke could tell she was anxious to know her own fate. Clarke looked nervously at Raven and back to her mother. “How's Raven doing?”

“There's been no change since you left.” Abby answered.

“I need to see her.”

“Honey, you've been gone for months, you just got back, let's get you some food. Raven's not going anywhere.”

“Mom, I need to see her, now.” The urgency in her daughters voice curbed her curiosity for the moment as she showed her daughter to the medical center they had set up after raiding Mount Weather.

Wick was sitting bedside holding Raven's hand when the two arrived.

“Wick.” Raven said with a smile, happy that she wasn't alone this whole time, that someone was there keeping her company. Clarke felt pang of jealousy that Wick was on the receiving end of that smile and then guilt because she should've stayed. She should've been the one at Raven's bedside.

Wick stood when he noticed the doctor and her daughter enter the room.

“You came back.” Disbelief filled his voice.

“Can I just get a minute alone.” The words came out a little more hostile that Clarke wanted them to. There was just so much going on in her head, so much going on everywhere, and she just needed it to be simple again, just her and Raven. “Sorry, I just-”

She didn't need to finish, Wick understood she meant no harm. “It's okay, we all take turns sitting with her and my turn is just about up so-” his sentence drifted and after a moment of silence he and Abby left. Raven walked slowly to her body almost afraid to get too close, to see herself in that condition. Clarke watched silently. Raven attempted to lay a hand on her shoulder but as usual her hand went right through her body.

“Well, at least we know I''m still alive, right?” Raven forced a smile.

Clarke took a step forward to stand beside Raven. She lifted a hand to place it on Raven's shoulder before realizing she couldn't and letting it fall back to her side.

“Hit me.” Raven said like she had some sort of epiphany.

“What?”

“Come on, Clarke. We have to try everything and I doubt anyone has tried this so just do it.”

Clarke looked at the brunette like she was going insane. “I'm not going to hit you.”

“Just slap me. I'd do it for you if the situation were reversed.”

“Raven. You need to calm-”

“No! Don't tell me to calm down. I'm in a fucking coma. Im here and my body is there and I can't touch anything, I can't eat anything. I'm tired as hell but I can't go to sleep. I need this to be over. You promised you'd find a way, Clarke. So keep your damn promise.”

It wasn't so much that Clarke agreed with Raven but she couldn't argue either. She did make a promise. It was a late night promise made while drifting off into slumber but Clarke meant it. If it took the rest of her life, Clarke was going to find a way to get Raven back into her body.

“If you wake up with a bruise-”

“A little bruise is nothing compared to everything that's happened.”

Clarke shot Raven a unsure sympathetic smile before slapping Raven's face.

“Come on, Princess, I've seen you hit harder than that.” Raven shouted.

Clarke pulled her hand back and for the second time slapped Raven resulting in nothing but a large very noticeable bruise on the brunettes face.

////

 

The shifts to watch over Raven had become shifts to bring Clarke food because she refused to leave the room. Clarke spent the better part of the three days they've been back pouring over old medical books that had been looted from Mount Weather. Against everyone's advice Clarke stay sat in the chair at Raven's bedside, reading book after book with Raven reading over her shoulder. It wasn't until Raven tried to kick a chair, failing horribly, that Clarke realized just how much they needed a break.

Clarke moved slowly fighting off exhaustion from sleeping a total of six hours since they got back. Raven led the way, keeping pace with Clarke, trying not to rush her. When they reached a nice spot high enough to look over the miles and miles of lush green forests, they stopped and for the first time since seeing Raven in that bed, Clarke felt like she could breath.

The view was stunning but Clarke found it impossible to take her eyes off Raven. She sat atop a rock and watched Raven watch the forest. After a few minutes of silence Raven began to laugh. When the laughter quickly faded into crying Clarke jumped off the rock, rushing to the brunette who was on her knees burying her face into her hands. Clarke could see that Raven had been going stir crazy, her positivity fading with each passing day, which is why she suggested this outing. She thought if they just got out of that room, back out into the forest it could be like it was before. This wasn't the optimistic Raven she had been traveling with for months. This was 'losing all hope' Raven and as much as Clarke was trying to fight it she was right there with her, falling to her knees in front of Raven.

“Hey.” she said softly. “Raven I promise you, I'm gonna fix this”

Raven wiped the tears from her eyes as she lifted her head to meet Clarke's eyes with hers. “Except you can't Clarke. You can't promise you'll fix this because you can't fix everything. Because there is a very real possibility that I'll never wake up, no matter what you do.”

Clarke took a second to find the right words. From a purely medical standpoint there was absolutely nothing Clarke could do and there was absolutely nothing Clarke wouldn't do to change that. Raven was right, very rarely was Raven ever wrong. They both knew Clarke's promise was crap, but as Clarke looked into Raven's eyes, whenever Clarke looked into Raven's eyes she felt hopeful. She pushed herself to her feet. “Maybe not, but I can promise that I'm gonna be here. If you wake up tomorrow or ten years from now. I'll still be right here.” With a hopeful smile she held out a hand to help Raven to her feet quickly realizing the absurdity of the gesture and letting her hand drop to her side. Raven smiled slightly, joining Clarke on her feet.

“That's not the kind of life I want for you Clarke. I don't want you to spend your life waiting for something that may never happen.”

“You have always been there for me Raven, before you even met me you fought to bring my mom to me. After everything that happened with Finn. Even when you hated me you were there for me. It's my turn to be here for you.”

“I never hated you.” She said with a crooked smile and an arched eyebrow. “Well maybe just a little for like a minute.” Raven flashed that breathtakingly beautiful smile of hers and like two magnets they moved closer, leaning in until their lips were millimeters away from one another. With her eyes shut Raven imagined the feel of Clarke's breath hitting her lips. She could practically hear Clarke's heartbeat speed up to beat in sync with her own. “Not being able to kiss you right now is killing me.”

Clarke took a step back. “Hurry up and wake up then.” Raven's eyes snapped open to see Clarke smirk before turning and walking away.

Raven laughed before yelling after Clarke. “When I wake up I'm going to kiss the hell out of you, Clarke Griff-” Clarke turned quickly at the abrupt stop to find the brunette nowhere in sight.

“Raven?”

////

 

It took a quarter of the time for Clarke to run back to camp then it did for them to hike up the mountain. She was on the brink of passing out when she burst into the room to find Raven in the same state she left her in. Bellamy jumped up from the chair as Clarke rushed to the bed, her mom on her heels.

“She's not awake?” She asked, confused. Clarke was sure Raven's disappearance meant one of two things. Either she was dead or she had woken up. Raven's chest moving steadily up and down indicated it wasn't the former. Clarke allowed herself a second of relief. “If she's not awake where is she?”

“Honey, You need to get some rest.”

“She should be here.” Clarke whispered to herself. “I turned away. I shouldn't have turned away.”

“Clarke.” Bellamy tried to get her attention but she was in some sort of trance, just staring down at Raven.

Abby's hand on her shoulder drew her out of it. She turned to her mother with wet eyes. “It's not suppose to be like this, mom. We were happy.” It wasn't until Abby wrapped her arms around Clarke that her knees gave in and she went limp. Abby gripped tighter, afraid that if she let up even just a little Clarke would fall. “It's gonna be okay.” She said softly. “Everything will be okay.” Bellamy rolled a bed closer and helped Abby to lift Clarke onto it. Clarke fell asleep almost instantly when her mother covered her and kissed her forehead.

////

 

Two nights passed before Clarke woke up to a sleeping Abby in the chair on her right and a still comatose Raven in the bed to her left. Failing to reach Raven's hand, she settled for their fingertips barely touching. A smile spread across her face when she realized it was the first time she got to watch Raven sleep. She was so focused on fixing everything when they first returned to camp that she never took the opportunity to do so. While they were out there on their own, Raven never slept so it was always Clarke being watched. Every morning she would wake to Raven's sad eyes hiding behind an blindingly beautiful smile and she knew she wasn't the only one being haunted by her nightmares. She would apologize and Raven would just shake her head and make a joke about Clarke's snoring and they would laugh. When Clarke shut her eyes she could still hear Raven's soft breathy laugh.

Bellamy entered the room practically tip toeing so he wouldn't wake the sleeping Griffins. He placed a hand on Abby shoulder.

“Chancellor.” He whispered giving her shoulder a little nudge. Abby came to slowly and a bit groggy still. “Council meetings about to start.”

“Has she woken?” Abby asked.

Bellamy shook his head in response. Clarke wasn't sure she was ready to face them both so she pretended to still be asleep.

“You'll stay with her.” Bellamy nodded his head knowing she wasn't asking she was commanding him to stay at Clarke's bedside. Abby pressed a kiss to her daughters head before leaving.

“I don't need to be watched.” Her voice startled Bellamy.

“Morning Princess.” He said with that goofy smile Clarke's only ever seen a few times before. His smile had a way of making everything better and she couldn't help but smile back as she sat up. “I'm trying out this new thing where I actually listen to authority figures.”

Clarke laughed. “And how's that working out for you?”

“Well I'm suppose to be meeting Octavia and Lincoln right about now, instead I'm stuck here with you.” They both chuckled.

“Then go. I can handle my mom.”

“You sure?”

“Yes. I don't need a babysitter.”

“Parting gifts then.” Bellamy handed her a notebook and a pencil. “So you don't get too bored laying in bed all day.”

Clarke thanked him as she took the gifts.

“I'll be back later to check on you. If you need anything, send for me, I'll come running.” Bellamy was near the door when Clarke called for him.

“Can you do me a favor?”

“Already?” He joked as he made his way back to her bed.

She hesitated not sure if she was ready for the question that would follow her request. “Can you push me closer to Raven.”

“Of course.”

Bellamy had no idea what happened to Clarke while she was gone. He had no idea what her sudden need to stay at Raven's side was about but he didn't need to know. Because of that Clarke was relieved that it was Bellamy that was there and not anyone else.

The second Bellamy left the room Clarke lay her head back down and took Raven's hand in hers. She lost count of the amount of times she wanted to touch Raven, to just hold her hand. She hovered her hand near Raven's cheek as she had known Raven had many times before when Raven thought she was asleep. _This is payback isn't it._ Clarke thought to herself.

“Please wake up.” Clarke whispered. A part of Clarke wished they had never come back to Camp Jaha. She could live with not being able to touch Raven as long as Raven was still there, just her company would be enough. If given the option she would go back in a heartbeat, because this, watching Raven and not being able to do anything to help her condition, it was just hell.

////

 

It took a little over a week for Clarke to fill her notebook. If it wasn't a drawing of Raven, it was a drawing of something she remembered from her and Raven's journey. If she wasn't drawing she was reading. If she was reading she always used one hand to flip the pages and the other to hold Raven's. It had become a normal sight for everyone that came by to visit and no one every questioned it. No one every took it as a romantic gesture just Clarke watching out for Raven. It wasn't until Abby found Clarke curled up next to Raven in Ravens bed with their fingers entwined that she started asking around about their relationship prior to the ark landing. From what everyone told her it was just platonic.

Any doubt that Clarke was in love with Raven was erased when Abby walked in on Clarke drawing Raven. She was so focused on her work she hadn't noticed the doctor enter the room. It was the way Clarke looked at Raven, like Raven was the sun and Clarke would gladly burn just to be near her, that look told Abby all she needed to know. She was glad. She couldn't think of a more perfect person for her daughter. She thought back to her time with Raven on the ark. She always reminded Abby of Clarke. They were so alike in so many ways, brilliant, headstrong, and a pain in the ass to anyone who gave them crap. Abby wore the biggest smile thinking about how perfect they were for each other. It slowly faded when she realized that there was a very real chance that this, sitting vigil at Raven's bedside, could very well be Clarke's future. The way Clarke looked at Raven told her that as long as there was the slightest possibility of Raven waking Clarke wouldn't abandon her.

////

 

Bellamy expected Clarke to turn him down as she has for over a week now, instead when he arrived at medical he found Clarke completely dressed and ready to go with Jasper standing by to watch over Raven while she was gone. It was just a simple perimeter walk Bellamy and usually Octavia would do every night. Octavia suggested it as a way to get Clarke back to doing something other than sitting with Raven without taking her away for too long.

They just walked in a comfortable silence. Clarke wasn't sure if she was ready to let her friend in on all the crazy stuff that has happened and Bellamy didn't want to force her to talk. It wasn't until the third outing that Clarke broke the silence, not even easing Bellamy into it.

“I've been seeing Raven.” She blurted out. “Like her spirit or something. I don't really know.”

Clarke wasn't even a little surprised when Bellamy didn't laugh or look at her like she was crazy. She knew that Bellamy was the one person she talk to without judgment. When their walk had finished but Clarke wasn't done telling Bellamy nearly every detail she could remember from the moment Raven appeared to her, they went for a drink. Clarke talked Bellamy's ear off for a good two hours without interruption and by the end of it all, for the first time since Raven disappeared on her, she felt light, like a weight had been lifted off her.

////

 

Clarke returned every night with a story for Raven. Be it a new animal they've never seen or some crazy thing Monty and Jasper cooked up in their free time. Often the story was accompanied by a drawing that Clarke put at the foot of Raven's bed just in case she woke up she would see it.

Clarke gradually got more comfortable leaving Raven for other things besides her and Bellamy's perimeter sweeps, but she never left her for too long, and she always made sure there was a friendly face at Raven's bedside, just in case.

It was an excursion with Monty for a plant Abby needed that took her away from Raven that day. Upon her return Bellamy greeted her with a sympathetic smile and the two words Clarke had been dying to hear for months.

“She's awake.”

Her knees went weak she had no idea how she was still standing but she was. Everything became a blur to her as she ran towards medical, her heart pounding in anticipation of seeing Raven again. Before she could get to the door Bellamy grabbed her arm turning her towards him.

“Clarke, She doesn't remember.” He said quickly and slightly out of breath from trying to catch Clarke before she went in.

“She has to.” The smile that had been plastered on her face from the moment she heard those two beautiful words come out of Bellamy's mouth faded. Before he could respond she opened the door to find Raven kissing Wick. She froze for a second before backing out, shocked into silence.

Bellamy gave her a second to digest the news. “The last thing she remembers is being captured by the mountain men.”

“So it was all just in my head?”

“She might just need some time to remember.”

“From the second I first saw her I have questioned my sanity. How are you not doing the same.”

“Just go in there and talk to her, Clarke.”

Abby opened the door drawing Clarke's attention just in time to see Raven smiling and laughing with Wick.

“She's happy.” Clarke said to herself more than to anyone else.

Without another word Clarke took off.

“She needs time to process.” Abby said placing a hand on Bellamy's shoulder to stay him. Bellamy nodded as they watched Clarke walk away.

 


	3. Chapter 3

Monty let Raven use him for support on their way back to her bed. Walking unassisted was still a ways off but she was making progress with the distance she could walk before getting too tired.  
“We could always go to her.”  
Raven scoffed. “Hell no. I'm the one that was injured. I'm not the visitor, I'm the visitee.” she paused for a second with a puzzled look she continued. “Visitee? Is that the right word?”  
“No clue.” He helped her onto the bed and pull up her legs. “You're being stubborn.”  
“When she was hurt I sat outside her tent all night to make sure she was okay. All I'm asking for is a damn visit.”  
“She's been through a lot too.” The second he saw Raven open her mouth to object he held up a finger and cut her off before she could even start. “I'm not making excuses for her. You waited one night for her, She waited at your bedside for almost two months. She read every book she could get her hands on to find a way to bring you out of your coma. We had to bring her food and set up a bed beside yours because she wouldn't leave your side. I'm just saying she does care.”  
“If she cares so damn much where is she now?”  
////

“She asked about you again.” Bellamy took a second from searching through Mount Weather's stacks of books to gauge Clarke's reaction. She ignored him and continued to read the book titles.  
“She made it all the way to the gate today. You're not going to be able to avoid her for much longer.”  
“We're here to find books for the kids, not to talk about my love life so please, just drop it.”  
Bellamy nodded and went back to looking through the books. Not even a minute later Clarke interrupted him.  
“What would I even say to her? 'Oh hey Raven I haven't been by to see you because for nearly a year now I've been seeing and talking to your ghost or spirit or whatever and I'm kinda in love with you.'”  
Bellamy smirked. “Well I would leave off the kinda in love with her part. You don't wanna scare her off just yet but other than that, yeah.”  
Clarke tossed a book hitting Bellamy in the gut.  
“Ow!” He oexaggerated.  
“She's been through hell already. I'm not gonna pile on. She's just getting back on her feet and she's happy with Wick.”  
“Except she's not, with Wick, I mean. He kissed her, not the other way around.”  
“That doesn't change the fact that she doesn't remember anything that happened between us.”  
“By avoiding her you're not really giving her a chance to remember, are you?”  
Clarke noticed a book at the bottom of the stack and pulled it out to find a red haired girl and a monkey on the cover.  
“Pippi.” she said to herself as the smile on her face grew.  
“Pippi?”  
“It's just- It's Raven's favorite book.” She flipped through it quickly.  
“Then bring it back for her.”  
////

It was eerily silent in the camp at three in the morning, which is why Clarke thought it would be the best time to sneak into medical and leave the book for Raven. The plan was to get in, place the book, and get out. She never expected Raven to still be awake, tinkering with a radio Sinclair had given her to keep busy.  
The brunette looked up immediately. “It's about damn time.” She said with a mixture of anger and happiness in her voice that made Clarke's heat flutter and stomach churn.  
“I thought you'd be asleep.”  
“Well that's not creepy at all.”  
“I just wanted to drop off this book.” Clarke took a step forward holding up the book. “And I-”  
Raven cut her off quickly, “And you didn't want to actually see me because for some reason, you're avoiding me.”  
Clarke placed her hands behind her back and tried her best to hold back tears while avoiding eye contact.  
“This is pathetic Clarke. You can't even look at me. What the hell is wrong?”  
“I just wanted to give you this.” Clarke spoke quickly to avoid her voice cracking. She placed the book on Raven's lap. Raven grabbed her hand before she could pull it away. Raven was so focused on Clarke she didn't pay attention to the book she was holding until Clarke placed it down.  
“Pippi Longstockings?”  
Clarke took a deep breath. “I heard it was your favorite.”  
“You heard? The only person who knew about Pippi was Finn.”  
“I have to go.” Clarke pulled her hand from Raven and rushed out of the room leaving a very confused Raven in her dust.  
////

Raven was somewhere between worry and anger. It took a lot of effort but she got out of bed and found her crutches. Putting weight on either leg still hurt like hell but she gritted her teeth and ignored the pain as best she could. Fueled by anger, worry and curiosity, she very slowly made her way to Clarke's tent. The anger only grew with each pain that shot through her body. She wasn't even sure what exactly she was going to do or say once she got there, she just knew she had to do something.  
She had been remembering things she had done and seen with Clarke. She thought they were nothing more than dreams but she had kept them a secret. She waited for Clarke to come by in hopes of discussing them with her but days passed and Clarke never showed up. It wasn't until Clarke gave her the book that she was certain they weren't just dreams.  
They sat on the edge of a cliff overlooking a valley and compared their childhoods. It was amazing to them how vastly different their upbringings were. Clarke had two parents who were annoyingly present. While Raven's dad was floated for theft and the loss drove her mother to drink. Clarke's admiration for Raven grew ten fold as she listened to everything Raven had endured growing up. Raven told her about how for her seventh birthday she received one of the only presents she ever got from her mom. It was a beaten up copy of Pippi Longstockings. The cover was completely torn off and several pages were missing but that didn't stop Raven from reading it over and over again.  
The memory had become more vivid when she saw Clarke and the book. She tried desperately to think of a logical explanation, failing to find any. When she arrived at an empty tent she leaned her crutches up against the side and sat down, exhausted.  
A drawing sticking out of a book caught her attention. She opened it up to a picture of her sitting on a river bank. She turned to the next page to a picture of both of them in a cave of lights. As Raven flipped through the book the memories came flooding back. She remembered ever second of being with Clarke up until that day on the mountain. With that she knew exactly where Clarke would be.  
////

Bellamy was just beginning his watch when he noticed a figure slowly approaching the gate.  
“Raven? What the hell are you doing out of bed?”  
“I have to find Clarke.” Raven spoke through labored breaths.  
“She's should sleeping, as should you.”  
“She's not in her tent. She's up on the mountain.”  
“How do you know?”  
“i just do. You can either help me get up there or move out of my way.”  
Bellamy placed Raven's arm around his neck for support and without another word they began walking.  
////

The sun had just begun to rise when Raven and Bellamy finally reached Clarke on the mountain. Bellamy handed Raven the crutch and let her go the rest of the way by herself. She found Clarke sitting on the ground looking out over the forest. She pulled the cave drawing she had folded up from her pocket and dropped it over Clarke's shoulder into her lap.  
“You should've told me.”  
Clarke unfolded the paper as she stood up.  
“Did you not want me to remember?”  
“I don't-” Clarke said confused.  
“If you had just come and talked to me, I could've remembered sooner. All of this could've be avoided.”  
“You remember? I'm not insane?” Clarke allowed herself a small smile.  
“Oh no, You are insane. You're and insane idiot but you kept your promise, for the most part at least and now I think it's time for me to uphold mine.”  
“And what's that?” Clarke asked.  
Raven smirked. “I'm gonna kiss the hell out of you.”


End file.
